彩旗: So this is what happened: I stumbled into an edit video one day. I didn’t find anything that really hit the spot, so I just made my own creative work. Then people started asking for updates. Then they started following me. And boom! I got dragged into fandom life. That’s the story. (laughs)

Cleo: You got followed...and that pulled you in?

彩旗: You have no idea how scary it was. (laughs) Every time I opened my phone it was: “Hi, have you updated?” “Hi, when’s the next update?” Every. Single. Day. (laughs)

Cleo: (laughs) Oh my god.

彩旗: Anyway, I’ve been revisiting old ships lately, since nothing new caught my attention. But luckily I still have a lot of content to enjoy. I’ve written some short pieces, but I don’t really do longfics. I don’t think they suit me. As for my OTPs (One True Pairing)...hmm, which one should I talk about? If you’ve already talked about certain ships with other people, I could try filling in the gaps!

Cleo: Oh, don’t worry about that! You can talk about anything you want. As long as you feel safe.

彩旗: Really? Okay then! So the pair I write about is different from what I read. The two I write are both super strong, and their sexual tension is off the charts. And Shikai…okay, he’s one of the guys—wait, I think I’m younger than him. But he still feels like a kid to me. (laughs) He’s clearly older than me, but I keep thinking of him as a kid!

彩旗: When he was 19, he was just so cute. I remember thinking, No way is he going to get shipped with anyone. I just couldn’t imagine it. This was from the reality show Detective Academy. There were four main “couples”...and then there was Shikai. (laughs) He was like, the odd one out. His only “ship” at the time...was a Samoyed dog.

Cleo: What?

彩旗: Because! (laughs) The dog was hungry and licked a chicken drumstick on the table. And Shikai was hungry too—so he ate the chicken drumstick after the dog licked it. That was his most intimate interaction on the show. With the dog. (laughs)

Cleo: Ohhh. Got it. (laughs)

彩旗: But the pair I really want to talk about…I’ve loved them for years. They left the show for three years, and only recently came back. Even after all that time, they’re still one of the most popular pairings on the Internet, I mean, top three for sure. The reason I don’t just read but write for them is simple: I don’t want them to fade into obscurity. They were gone for so long, it felt possible. But I didn’t want that to happen. They’re both adults—wait, everyone on that show is an adult. (laughs) But even so, they still feel like kids to me.

Cleo: Thank you for sharing! I’m kind of surprised that how you suddenly realized they’re older than you, but you still see them from this “not about age” perspective.

彩旗: I just realized that! (laughs) And the story I wrote about them, I mean the one that got censored—it was so extreme that only the first and last sentence were allowed to stay up. Everything in between got wiped. So usually I’ll just comment: “Add me as a friend if you want to read the rest on my profile.”

Cleo: What?! Why?

彩旗: (laughs) The system is just that strict! And okay, look, if it’s an adult-rated story for an adult pair, then fine, maybe it gets censored. But the story I wrote about Shikai and his ship? That one got flagged too! And that was totally innocent!

Cleo: What do you mean by “totally innocent”?

彩旗: I thought it was totally normal! I didn’t expect that one to get flagged. The system’s logic is so random. I even contacted customer service! I told them, “I really think this one is fine. Can you lift the block?” And it wasn’t even a post that got blocked on upload—it went up just fine, and then got taken down later. I had no idea why! They said it was because of “secondary review.” That’s it. But I was so mad. I honestly think the platform is being too sensitive.

Cleo: So the “official” reason was just “secondary review”? No other explanation?

彩旗: Exactly. I even talked to my friends about it! (laughs) We were all trying to figure out why. One of them said: “You need to post during the day. Don’t post at night. The system’s too sensitive at night.” (laughs)

Cleo: That’s...surprisingly logical?

彩旗: Yeah! And like, I get it, some of my fics might have been a little...too suggestive, so fine, those get flagged. But this one? This was pure love! It was the most wholesome romance I’ve ever written! If this gets blocked, the moderation team should just go hang out with kindergarteners. Seriously. All they did was stand close! They didn’t even do anything! I swear, even elementary school kids could read it. It was just two characters being close. That’s it! And it still got censored.

彩旗: Oh my god. So lately I’ve just been thinking—can these platforms PLEASE get it together already? I’m still sure that the story that got flagged had nothing wrong with them! There was another one too. I reread it several times just to double-check. I even thought it had a kiss in it at first, but nope, no kiss. The whole scene was just: one character stopping the other from leaving, and the second one lying in bed feeling sad, texting a friend. If anything triggered the system, was it the phrase “curled up under the blanket”? Like, really? Is that what did it? I don’t know. I have no idea. I’m totally lost.

Cleo: That’s such a shame you cannot post it.

彩旗: Right?! I had the whole thing planned out—the next chapter, the bonus scene, even the exact ending lines. I had already written about a thousand words for the next scenes! I was so ready. And then—ugh. It just...it really hurts. And let me say this one more time: it was a great story. I stand by it!

Cleo: I really hope it finds a new home someday.

彩旗: I think I’ll end up writing something new. It’s been two years now. Looking back, I think my writing back then was still a bit immature. So yeah. I’ll write something new.

彩旗

大福

FÀN by Cleo Cui